Wrong Way

I can remember when I was a kid (all those years ago) that streets in town ran in both directions.  It was a nightly phenomenon that we would drag main street.  Kids all over America did this.  You would wave to friends as you passed and yell out greetings.  Then city planners came up with the insane idea of one way streets.  Now we could no longer go up and down the main drag, we circled it like a wagon train settling in for the night in hostile territory.

To this day I hate one way streets.  I have a rotten sense of direction.  I can get lost going out of a parking lot.  Once I have the directions imprinted on the mental hard drive, I am fine and can get around fairly well in any city.  But, if the return directions are different from how to get there, I am in trouble.

This last week I have made a wrong turn twice.  In the mornings I have the directions to the hospital I am visiting down pat.  I have to.  At 6 AM I am not mentally alert and the car has to be on auto pilot.  Friday night I took a wrong turn, I thought, out of the parking lot.  It was actually the right way but I was tired and confused.  So, I turned onto a street I knew the name.  Now I was really lost.  I called my friend who practically has a map of the city burned into his brain.   I was on a street I could follow, but it would take me 90 minutes to get home through the entertainment district … on a Friday night … rather than the 22 (no traffic) jaunt of the morning.

Today I wheeled out of the parking lot and forgot to take the two left turns to get on the correct one way street.  How did I find this out?  The street ended at a lake rather than the freeway entrance.  I didn’t quite panic as much.  I stopped (by now there was no traffic in the residential neighborhood …  a clue), made the two left turns and headed back the right way on another one way street.

This isn’t the first time I have been baffled by one way streets.  The downtown area of Minneapolis is riddled with them.  I never seem to have problems getting into the city and the location I am looking for.  I always have problems getting out of the city.  Not long ago I started off in Minneapolis but ended up in St. Paul.  Along the way I passed the cafe I can never find and several golf courses I didn’t even know were in the city.

I need to get the return routes hard wired into my head.  Of course, there is an easier answer … GET RID OF THE ONE WAY STREETS!!!

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